Starting off in homeschool
We have had several occasions in the last few years where I have found us, once again in the position of needing to generate a new homeschool.
Homeschooling in the pandemic… I think not
Oddly, unlike the rest of the nation, this was not during the covid pandemic. I had 2 of my children in school, I was not in the mindset of trying to emulate what teachers do – I’ve always been pretty clear that I couldn’t do that, because I’m really not equipped to. Teachers go through years of further education and training to do what they do. Starting off in homeschool did not happen during this time. At this point we had only just started flexischooling on Fridays, and while this was radical enough for us at the time, we felt was necessary due to the stress we could see was impacting our son.
No, during the pandemic education was not my top priority – I felt sure that whatever they missed in school, they would surely catch up on. I have always been clear about the intelligence of children if we give them space and opportunity for creativity. If they weren’t in school, they were welcome to play and create as far as I was concerned. I gave my oldest, who was 8 at the time, p5, some maths in a workbook and some writing or spelling to do, and left it at that.
As it turned out, he progressed more than ever during that time, and when he went back, his work began to deteriorate rapidly again. Covid was a time of great worry for our nation. But in that window, for my children, it was respite from a haze of blurry anxiety.
Later on…
Time passed, and one of my children repeatedly asked not to be sent to school, and we made the incredibly daunting decision to let him ‘quit school’. In a series of backwards and forwards lasting about 3 years, we as a family became increasingly confident in our decision to homeschool. We began to see it, not only as a viable option, but seeing the effect and quality of life for our children, an exceptional option.
Each time I found us newly setting up a homeschool plan, curriculums and ethos, each time I scaled down, and down until, with shock I find myself nearly in the territory of ‘unschooling’.
Tiredness
When we were starting off in homeschool, I think we were really trying to emulate what I thought my children might be missing in school. One Friday morning would be packed with more that 6 different ‘subjects’.
Then as we progressed from flexischooling to homeschooling for one of my children, this approach of attack was emulated on a 5 day a week basis. I was determined that, when my child reintegrated into ‘normal’ school life, that they would not be behind on their school work.
Now, several years in, I know that I am not trying to keep up with teaching reading and writing skills vigorously from the age of 4. In keeping with the natural neurological developmental patterns in children, they learn these particular skills much more smoothly and naturally from the age of 8. https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/let-them-play/
I was also trying to compensate for all the social opportunities I felt they were missing at school. So we had drama class, and beavers and football, amongst other extra curricular for my other children. There was no end to the homeschool day. https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/end-of-the-day/
I can truly say that this kind of pressure that I put on myself was unnecessary. At the age of 5, and with our active lifestyle, my child was perfectly fine, still nesting and exploring under the shepherding arm of us his parents.
Starting off in homeschool could probably be described as in one word – tiredness.
Why I go for (nearly) ‘unschooling’.
Eventually we made the decision. All three children were being withdrawn from school for good, for full time homeschooling. Starting off in homeschooling this last time I was determined not to be swallowed up in the world of ‘should be’s that dictate so much of traditional education. I was not going to try and pretend to be school. I was not going to get that tired.
This was to be a positive experience, and a lifestyle for the whole family.
We were going to educate, at home.
There’s a lot to say about socialising, motivation, teaching of morals and simply good learning experiences. But the truth is that for many years well after most children are going to school, play can be integrated as good learning opportunities for children for much of the day. In play, mind and body meet. It promotes learning readiness, curiosity, imagination, adaptability, integrity, ambiguity tolerance, altruism, negotiation, experimenting, problem solving, decision making and reflection.
Children newly starting homeschool
If your child is new to homeschool having been in the school environment, the chances are that they are sick of the sight of worksheets. Newly starting off in homeschool, they have been used to being entertained, usually with age appropriate distractions, that often bear little resemblance to anything they see their adults around them value. They probably think learning is boring, maths is boring, stories are boring (or at least writing them) and that playing outside is an opportunity to get as far away from their adversaries – the adults. They expect that yelling and name calling is normal from children and adults, and they have learned that only perfection is acceptable, and that failure is a problem.
Rekindle a curiosity
It might seem an exaggeration, but truly, this is the norm. At least it is for people who are choosing to come out of the school system. Some children do thrive in school, and are conscientious enough to sit still, fall in line and make the system work for them. But I’m guessing, if you’re reading this, you’re one of the many that have not found school a nurturing environment.
Starting off in homeschool, children will gradually rekindle a curiosity, an appreciation of there surroundings, and eventually a love of learning. As they do, they will gradually learn to ‘pick up a spoon’ for their own learning. Let learning be their win, not ours. It’s so easy to wear the mantle of ‘I will do a good enough job to educate my child’. But that becomes our win. So much more for them when they set a goal and achieve it.
Sit with them
Obviously there is a lot of support and input required. But if they can feel proud of their learning, and that it was their doing, we are preparing them all the more. Our job is to surround them with revitalising opportunities and materials, and in some cases to remove, or at least tidy, the kind of thing that will get in the way of addiction free dwelling.
It’s easy to say, well if they’re happy I can get… all these other jobs done! But these are the times when they quietly notice if we’re present or not. Are we on our phone? (Gulp.) Are we rushing around. How much do we prioritise them in a time of quiet? Or do we always prioritise the jobs? Sometimes, the washing can wait. If we were out and about – it would wait. At home there can be times when it can wait, and we can choose to sit with them.
We read to them. We sit with them. We connect with them. And delight in them. We help them persevere. We support relationships. This is good home education.
Are they bored? Let them be bored!
In this time of rekindling the interest of the individual, let them play. Let them play outside, let them play inside. (Put away the computer games). Are they bored with this? Let them be bored. As long as we’re present, they can thrive past ‘bored’.
Have shelves stocked with paints and games, puzzles and crafting bags. At first even crafting sets can be useful while they explore using their imagination. Gradually they learn to improvise and make things up. They learn different ways of attaching parts, that happen at a click of a button on programs. Things don’t work, and ‘failure’ is actually becomes learning.
Mending a view of authority
Harder though, is to renew the relationship between children, siblings, and between adults. This is especially when newly starting off in homeschool.
A very good friend once said, “when you have to resort to authority, you’ve lost the battle”. This has stuck with me for such a long time – of course there are times to be authoritative as a parent. But especially in this time of mending, a pause is often much better than an immediate, authoritative approach. Especially with ADHD children, where it is so noticeable, and the children just talk or act without thinking. It’s all just noise. We don’t need to squash it. We can just let the wave pass, and engage with where they’re at.
True homeschool lessons
Maths and English aside, rather than starting off with a set lesson plan, we can look for other outcome as our lesson objectives, such as ’motivation’ or ‘confidence’.
Then when our child finds something they are interested in and applies themselves to a task before them, we find we can kindle motivation. And when they overcome a hurdle, or progress in a skill, or contribute to a task that helps the family out, they build in confidence. We don’t want to educate children to the point of no confidence. We want to grow alongside these children as they learn to assert moral emphasis on their reasoning, and as they have the confidence speak up and apply their thinking to a problem solving task. These, motivation and confidence, are such valuable lessons to learn for taking any kind of education further. A love of learning is the first step to starting out in homeschool.
https://ourslowhome.co.uk/blog/2023/10/11/five-things-i-learnt-in-our-first-year-of-home-ed