Finding an end to the day
As we build in momentum on our homeschooling journey, we find ourselves with a long list of potential educational avenues, and also several extra curricular activities per day. One one hand the motivation for creativity and learning experiences that is building in my children is hugely encouraging and inspirational, and on the other hand I find myself protecting their space for discovery each day. With so much enthusiasm it can be easy to miss ever finding an end to the day. An end to the homeschooling day is vital for parents and children alike.
Learning, growing, thriving
This is the balance in question; education, free play, and extra curricular activities. Throughout the week these must take place in some order or other. Especially with an ‘unschooling’ ethos, it can be easy to justify any activity as a learning experience.
We do not really take the ‘unschooling’ approach, and yet I have a great appreciation for exploration and discovery through play as the greatest teacher. Exploration grows motivation, interest and practical and creative capacity.
Also, the more time they have exploring on their own accord, the more connection I can foster with my children individually, because they are themselves absorbed. Self absorption has negative connotations, but really the ability of the child to absorb themselves in a given task is the key to any learning that follows.
End to the day for desk work
But at some point in each day, our role as homeschooling mum (or dad) has to come to an end, and life as a parent must begin again. The pressure to provide a good education does need to be within a finite timeframe.
Conversely, I am always telling my children all the cliches, that ‘every day’s a school day!’ And ‘you learn something new every day!’, much to their joy… Basically I’m trying to set a tone of – learning is growing, and growing is life. But it’s still so important to reach an end to the day, and simply live and thrive.
Sovereignty
I have been fascinated by Matt Beaudreau’s podcasts – he talks about nurturing the sovereignty of the child. I have quite a hard time putting into words, something to point at and say, that there, that’s sovereignty. But at the moment I’m seeing our children’s sovereignty as, their true selves. I’ve thought on it for a while now. Now I’m beginning to see ‘sovereignty’ as the point in this learning/growing/thriving – there needs to be room for who they are, where they came from and where they belong, today and in eternity.
Priorities – academia
Throughout our homeschool journey it has been helpful to readdress learning as discovering and exploring for my children. We have needed to rekindle a fresh appreciation and thirst for learning, and found motivation in all sorts of hair brained ideas. Now that we have rediscovered a zest learning, especially with my oldest I am putting time aside for dedicated academic learning.
But this type of learning is just one branch in a versatile tree.
Priorities – the core, and other branches
So there we have it, educational skills are a carved out part of our day. It complements the free play time that I value so highly (and not the other way around). This free-play time is when they are truly learning, and inventing, and imagining. They are adapting their thinking, they are collaborating with brothers or peers, and they are learning to think. This creative aptitude is complemented by educational skills – educational skills are one branch. We apply educational skills to their imaginative, discovering abilities – their creative, sovereign selves as the core. Educational skills are one branch that enhance this trunk. Social skills are another branch, kindness and various talents another again, and these are where extra curricular activities come in.
Craving an end to the day
So if we’re learning throughout the day, fostering free play time, and facilitating extra curricular activities later in the day and in the evening, when, my friend, shall we say the homeschool day finished, that we’ve accomplished and end to the day? When shall we say, we did good?
Changing expectations
The audacity of it – to crave this kind of balance… when the majority works full time, and come home to complete household and other tasks.
Well, maybe you’ve noticed that I’m not exactly a fit the mould type. As a stay at home mother I had always intended on being that constant in my children’s lives. Previously I had expected to run the household, do the school run, attend school plays and squeeze in some self employed work as I could and as was needed. The intention was to provide a joyful work life balance, that would be steeped in connection and my children’s sovereignty. But I couldn’t find that connection in line with the state schooling and child care.
Now as a homeschool mum these expectations have had to change dramatically. I’ve had to step up and take responsibility for my children’s education (something I should’ve done a long time ago). There has been a lot of stepping up in our family – us as parents, and my children as citizens of our family unit, not just guests in the Hotel Caledonia.
The strain
I’m not looking for a cook and a maid and a governess, but us women haven’t exactly done ourselves a veritable favour by desiring a career on top of the high honour and privilege of raising a family. For a country apparently living in relative peace, our men and women alike are more stressed than can possibly be imagined. No, I think we all feel quite within our bounds to desire time out from the race.
https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/carve-out-me-time-in-homeschool/
At some point in the day, we need to be able to say, we did it, we completed a homeschool day (and now to the dishes and laundry and cooking;-) ).
Where I find the end of the ‘day’
Well, at the moment I’m not really quite there – we do have so many extra curricular activities that I’m glad to provide for my children. So, for what it’s worth, here is how I am keeping from becoming disillusioned. This is less of a list of strategies, and while not a punch line, it’s the line I hold on to throughout the week.
To avoid feeling disillusioned, I can remind myself that it’s actually a 4 day week. That’s right, I keep my homeschooling endeavours on behalf of our children to a 4 day week – Monday through to Thursday.
Friday morning we do some music and German stories, and in the afternoon I work away (piano teaching) – and what the children look forward to as a ‘daddy day’.
Saturday, we often tackle a ‘homestead’ project. And Sunday, we aim to relax – that normally looks like church in the morning, with horses and dogs in the afternoon, which, for a family who relaxes by burning off steam and rolling around in nature and the great outdoors, is the best thing for it.
Latest Saturday project – https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/putting-down-roots/
Odds and ‘ends’ of the day
There are also times throughout our 4 day week that I require time for lower key items – mainly washing dishes, cooking and hoovering. Rather than achieving an end of the day, this tends to be that window of time when the (older) children have surfaced from their academic studies and have taken themselves outside. There is often a good window around midday. Rather than micromanage each minute of the day, I very much enjoy hearing them play outside during this time. I am so glad that they are able to nurture themselves with their self regulating activities. I often find that they are able to enter this relaxed state as long as us adults are setting the tone – a contented sort of tone. Then we’re back into it for the rest of the day, but this isn’t possible if we haven’t set aside time for some food and a deep breath with the same fervour as all the jobs and endeavours we have for the rest of the day.
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