Carve out me time
We’re here – the children are home
So we’ve started homeschooling. Are you the same? Or maybe you’re working it out. Maybe it’s something that’s on your radar. There’s always so much to consider – a whole new structure to the day. There’s all the previous jobs that I would get done, paid work, home work, house work. And now children are everywhere. Round my middle, on my back, shouting from the other room. How can I carve out me time?
The children were used to entertainment and busy-ness every minute of the day. They are used to the day revolving with the spotlight on their education. They are used to all activities, work and endeavours directly focused on their stepping up in knowledge. They are used to having a system revolved around their success, and they’ve learned a collected attitude towards systems and authority. Ours at least, have learned to fight it, resent it – or they’d still be happily trotting into school every day, with a smile and a wave.
https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/living-with-autism/
Are they adjusted?
But are they happily trotting around at home now? Are yours? I wonder – or there wouldn’t be this very familiar phrase ‘unschooling’ in the homeschooling community. Yes, the children have to learn to ‘unschool’ before they can move forwards with their homeschooling. They have to learn this, whether or not we will be moving forward with a formal curriculum, or whether they continue with an unschooling education.
Adjustments to look for
The children have to relearn boundaries, that now need to be set from a place of respect and appreciation of one another. Children and adults need to learn a new structure for the day that takes into account personal needs or others, or a collected need. We need to understand that the agenda for the day needs to consider all the members of the family. Sibling rivalry must readjust. Respect within the family must grow and become reciprocal.
Our expectations of our children
To make a curriculum work for us, expectations of achievements for the day need to be reasonable for the person they are directed at, not just what looks good on paper, nor a homeschool plan. If we are at odds with our children all day long, and if our expectations of them aren’t conducive with a healthy work-life balance, then how on earth are we supposed to enjoy our new found time with our children, and promote a healthy family dynamic? How would we carve out me time?
Because if we set a tone of dissatisfaction, wouldn’t they really be better in school, where at least these expectations are on a purely professional basis?
Hopes for our children
However, we always want what is best for our children, of course. They have their interests and talents. There can be an endless amount of things that they could, or should do. But now we have a new set up. Now the dynamic needs to take into account all of us. How many things will we subscribe to on their behalf, so that they can live ‘fulfilled’ lives? How many activities, until all hopes of ‘carve out me time’ are gone? Part of homeschooling is for the children to learn to occupy themselves – for them to attain some autonomy, and to go on journeys of self discovery. Timetabling every inch of their day, even with the best interests, doesn’t create space for discovery and exploration.
Exploration
Much exploration is very gradual and tentative, it only comes once they’ve reached the end of a game and all paths that seem available have been covered. Then curiosity gets the better of us, and we veer off the beaten track. Invention, discovery and expeditions take time – time to themselves. These are the times we can step back and carve out me time.
Hopes for ourselves
Our hopes can’t be the same as they were before our homeschooling journey. The expectations are still there, and duties. And now a long list of new expectations. But if we as parents are going to relish in our journey of homeschooling, some changes will have to be made. If we’re smart, we can even make our changes and adjustments that might be for the better!
https://teachthemdiligently.net/3-years-from-now/
My homeschooling journey
Quite honestly, it has been a while since I felt able to carve out me time. I had a lot of anxiety as to whether this could be a viable route. I have been on this homeschooling journey, up and down, for 4 years now. I’ve been to burn-outs ville, and through over-achieving station, and I’m quite determined not to go there again. Don’t even want the t-shirt. If I’d trusted the process more I could’ve been a bit more strategic on what the changes would look like for us all.
My interests
But, my jobs are also my hobby – I teach piano – I love it, I write music, and play piano and organ. It is very hard to scale back my work when I am so passionate about it.
But I really do need to carve out me time. I love to feel fit and well. I’d like time for that… I love to have a tidy and beautiful house. I’d like time for that… I have lots of animals. I need to make time for that… whilst also educating my children and feeding them. I think you can probably relate. We all have so much we’d like to do.
What does me time look like
Carve out me time – this post is specifically written for the times when it’s me and the kids, no other adults on hand. Otherwise me time would look very different. This is me time when I’m on my own, on a homeschooling day. Ideally, there would be me time in the morning, before everyone is awake. Also, at midday for a while, and finally in the evening. Yes, it is idealistic, I know. But me time has many roles. In the morning, me time would look like a little time to do some stretches and physio exercises, and to lay things out for the day ahead. I say would, as early mornings are currently my nemesis. Well one of them. Then in midday, me time looks like getting some work done – my own work done, house work, or preparing for my jobs. This may sound a bit driven, but I’m talking about our working week, not the weekend. My work makes me feel capable, and my own person, not unlike the activities and lessons I acquire for my children. And finally my evening me time, which is particularly idealistic because of my children’s evening activities, for my own personal endeavours and work, or playing the piano, watching some youtube clips or relaxing with my husband.
Should I feel guilty
Should I feel guilty about carving out me time in a homeschool day? Well of course not. What would I be teaching my children if they felt my endeavours were of less, or even no value in comparison to theirs? Also, the self assurance that they gain by taking some time to themselves outside, or in their rooms reading or listening to an audio book of their choice – I think there is no reason to feel guilt.
Home education is a way of life that should benefit all members of the family. It is a time to consider what kind of lifestyle we would like for our children, and for ourselves.
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