Attention in home education

Bringing out the best – Attention in home education

“Love is a pure attention…” philosopher Louis Lavelle

“How we dispose our consciousness… is, therefore, a moral act…” Ian McGilchrist

“By paying a certain kind of attention, you can… cherish or strip of all value.” Ian McGilchrist

Two kinds of attention

This is an interesting one, paying attention – to our children I mean, of course. It seems to go without saying – pay attention to your children. I am reading The Matter with Things by Iain McGilchrist, which explores the perception by the hemispheres of the brain, of our experience of, and attention to the world. In the introduction of his book the author points to attention as, “the choice we make of how we dispose our consciousness is the ultimate creative act… It is, therefore, a moral act: it has consequences. ‘Love’, said the French philosopher Louis Lavelle, ‘is a pure attention to the existence of the other’.” So is the importance of attention in a loving home. It is an act of love, to pay attention to our loved ones. But of course! Of course we pay attention in home education. We homeschoolers endeavour to value our children! We would not want to take it upon ourselves to invest in our children’s education, and not pay them any attention. That goes without saying.

However, in the same book, in the same introduction the author describes a different kind of attention. He describes the effect that attention, as an active, altering, participative attention, can “both create and destroy, but it never leaves its object unchanged”. McGilchrist describes how, “by  paying a certain kind of attention, you can humanise or dehumanise, cherish or strip of all value. By a kind of alienating, fragmenting and focal attention, you can reduce humanity – or art, sex, humour, or religion – to nothing.”

Attention at home

Well this is interesting, when we are trying to love our little ones, how loving is our attention? Have we got an agenda. Have we got an end goal in mind? What are we hoping our child will get out of an experience or lesson. I know I go through the day, and I have a set agenda in mind – I’d like them to start with a filling breakfast. They need to be learning and progressing in their education. Social experiences should be wholesome, and leave them feeling refreshed, valued and capable. In short, I’d like what seems best for my child. However, this attention needs to be fuelled with receptiveness, openness and empathy.

Because if it is a demanding and scrutinising kind of attention, it isn’t loving attention any more. If the attention doesn’t allow a bigger picture including past experiences, circumstances, personality, or how the day has been, it isn’t a nourishing kind of attention. It is a kind of attention that doesn’t notice a certain dynamic between peers perhaps. Or it is a kind of attention that doesn’t notice when a child feels spoken for, or hasn’t been able to explore choices and seek to learn. This kind of attention in home education does not build up, bringing out the best.

https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/our-professional-children/

Ambitious attention

I find it interesting to note a kind of ambitious attention – we delight when someone achieves a set goal, or behaves in a certain way. It happens in churches – there is an endless quota of hoping to bring people through the doors. People go all ‘labrador’ (as my friend puts it) on them. The endeavour to be appealing, welcoming, and to seem thriving can sometimes put all good judgment out of the window. It can alter our intent and our actions. I am very glad for people to feel welcome, but I don’t think for the accomplishment for it. The love we show for people, the old timer next to us in the pew, or the new breath of fresh air, should be genuine and enduring. Not for numbers. Not for accomplishment. We should be there, in whatever capacity, in the spirit of the sabbath. We should be there, as ourselves, offering who we are, in rest and peace, in service to God.

I think the same for our children. They are on their own journey. We can lead, facilitate, care and delight. But there needs to be room for them to find their own interest, passions and strength of character. Any attention in home education that we give our children must have the strength to endure, and the openness to delight in them as individuals. It must be loving attention to their existence – the kind that allows rest – the kind that says, you don’t need to strive. It is a kind of attention that sits back and appreciates. This is the kind of attention that brings out the best of who they are.

https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/peter_gray/coercive_schooling.html

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