“Only rich people can homeschool”
I’m quite new to the internet/instagram world of homeschooling opinions. There are a lot of strong ideas out there – homeschool seems to be somewhat of a marmite situation – people are either passionately for it, or adamantly against it. Some myths I come across are:
“Public schools aren’t relevant anymore”;
“Sending your child to public school is the only way to ensure your child is properly socialised”; and
“Only rich people can homeschool”.
I was hoping to talk about the last of these myths – that only rich people can homeschool.
For the purpose of this blog article I’m specifically talking from a UK perspective, though many first world countries may find similarities to the UK. In developing countries opportunities for education is a completely different discussion all together, which should be on our radar. However, this isn’t the topic in this particular article.
Let’s start with the conclusion: Up to date statistics show the majority of families that homeschool are not rich. Simply, this myth has no grounds – people who choose to home educate do so by way or priority, not privilege (within our local context). They do so regardless of their income, and they choose to live within their means.
People who homeschool
The nature of this decision, to homeschool, usually means the parent often prioritises less valued ideals and aspirations, over values of monetary concern. These are values such as mental health, family, faith, ideologies, lifestyle balance and even education. Often having a richer life with more financial assets is not the main priority for parents who choose to homeschool.
Only rich people can homeschool? – these are often not the people making this choice, although these are often the people insisting that not everyone can afford it. These are often the people who choose, for example, a higher costing lifestyle, who prefer not to live off limited incomes, and who protest on behalf of other people that they don’t know – hypothetical people – who might choose homeschool if not for financial limitations. The people who actually want to homeschool, who make this choice, prioritise it as a lifestyle and absorb it as one of their many financial limitations. People who homeschool are usually choosing to prioritise ‘lesser’ values – those that are not necessarily based on financial gain.
For us
A case study – us. We’ve been through our ups and downs, and what I think shows in our story is our choice of lifestyle trajectory. For us, being home for the children was something we always wanted, and something we prioritised at every point of our decision making processes. That’s not to say I don’t work. I have always worked to a greater or lesser extent, and still do. And we often had to sidestep off our trajectory to make ends meet. There were plenty of crossroads where we could have decided to prioritise other ways of living.
Some money
I’ve been a parent now for nearly 13 years. During that time we have lived with a variety of incomes.
For a time we lived on a small island, north in Orkney archipelago, with my husband and son. There our expenses were very low. I did a little piano teaching during this time, in-between my husband’s shift work. We were able to live reasonably modestly on one income.
Much less money
After we moved back to mainland Scotland our expenses became much more – especially our fuel costs were dramatically increased, and we couldn’t afford our electric bills or groceries even though my husband was working full time shifts often through the night. During that time I worked as a waitress in the pub across the road, and began to build up my piano teaching business in our new area. I always fit my shifts and lessons around my husband’s working pattern – we took it in turns to look after our son. It was a time that we passed like ships in the night – swapping child and work. During this time we could have looked for a more serious career for me, and put my child into care – this wasn’t our chosen trajectory, which is why I believe we have found a way of making one income work for us.
More simple, or more stress?
We went camping once a year for a holiday break, for example, and spent our weekends hiking and cooking sausages on a small fire. Looking back now, I often think that the less we had, the simpler life was. But that wasn’t true – financial stress is not a walk in the park (nor up a hill). Financial stress is not a simpler life. We were aiming towards living as a family off of one income, and in the valley of making ends meet we did have to take each day at a time.
Some more money again
Time passed and our financial strain went down, my piano teaching picked up and I found work as an organist/church musician. Again – I fit my work around my husband’s shifts. Over time, we have been increasingly able to live off of one income, and gradually we were able to start buying a few luxuries for our home. I can remember the stress of choosing some cushions for our sofa – I’d never been able to do that before. Now I realise it wasn’t necessary anyway – the children throw them everywhere and they have been chewed by dogs and rabbits. The next time I buy cushions will be in about 15 years!
Interdependence
Only rich people can homeschool? – During all of this time, I made it my priority to simply spend less, and choose to be home for my family. However, we chose to be interdependent on each other’s providence and earning capacity, rather than the state. Having my own income and sending my children into care so that I have independence – this is an illusion. We are all interdependent, whether we choose to do so with the state or with our families. If I outsource to the state, or do it myself, child care and education is paid work – it costs. It can be regarded as work of monetary value. We as a family choose to ‘pay’ me to do it – it costs us, and we choose that. If I didn’t look after the children, my husband either couldn’t work, or he would have to outsource the childcare elsewhere and pay for it.
It isn’t for everyone – it would be better for everyone if we didn’t all expect everyone to aspire to the same things. But this was our personal preference and priority.
Found a balance
Now we have found a balance. We were always on a trajectory where we chose and agreed to aim to live on one income. We had to compromise. We had to make changes. But we didn’t choose to make changes that brought us in the direction of a better holiday or more clothes – though we all really wanted me to invest in some new clothes! We made changes that stepped in the direction of our own chosen trajectory – to be home for our children.
Why people choose to homeschool regardless of financial implications
But why? Why do people choose to homeschool when it so deeply affects earning capacity.
Work life balance
The truth is that before we even considered homeschooling, for us it was always our aim to recognise home making as a valuable occupation. Home making on its own takes time and resource. We did not know that we would be homeschooling. I hoped to live a slow life, of valuing house work, caring for my children and tending the needs and aspirations of our family. Well, slow living – that does not come naturally – but the value and hope is there. Our choice of work life balance meant I knew the life I wanted for myself and my husband. We chose the same for our children, which is where homeschooling came in. We were in a position to respond to what we felt were the needs of our children.
https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/slow-living-and-valuable-work-of-the-home/
Good education
But we have not had to forgo a good education for this work life balance, homeschool choice for our children – children who are schooled at home often get better than expected exam results. Maybe this is because homeschooled children who have not been able to fit in with mainstream education have had the opportunity to be nourished in their home setting. Conversely, despite lack of educational resources compared with a school, the learning that can be achieved at home often has more room for problem solving and experience than can be achieved in the classroom.
Families who choose to homeschool are sometimes passionate about a particular subject, music or languages for example, or sometimes they have a cultural preferences or topics of interest that they prefer to honour in their family.
Often homeschooled children have the opportunity to deeply explore these topics of interest, or spend considerable time problem solving or creating and imagining. This luxury of time, and exploration and discovery is immensely valuable in good learning opportunities.
Mental health
Mental health in our youth is at a major crisis point – children are experiencing unbelievable anxiety and depression. Time spent outside is at an all time low, and access to internet is in many cases unlimited, with content ranging from informational to addictive gaming and exposure to content that would in previous times have been unimaginable.
Additionally, school and home environments are becoming increasingly less therapeutic for children who live with neurodiversity. More and more these children are struggling with the expectations put on them, to be still in a classroom for full days at a time – these children often have such vibrant imaginations and so much desire to experience the world around them physically. School are ever more under pressure and are simply not able to provide outdoor and off screen education. Only rich people can homeschool? – parents’ financial situation is not what leads them to be tuned in to the needs of their children, of those who are struggling in the system. People who choose to homeschool make it their priority and change their lifestyle to accommodate their choices.
Learning time
Children often don’t need more that 2 hours of education, and 3 hours of outdoor time per day in a homeschool setting. This limited time of 2 hours helps children to appreciate rather than resent their education.
Family values
Many times children who have been pulled out of mainstream school have struggled with peer pressure and fractured relationships. They often struggle with the intensity of the social school day. Homeschool allows the children to take more natural down time when they require it. There is more room for intuition. As a family homeschoolers can seek out like minded peers and friends. Only rich people can homeschool? – people who prioritise homeschooling and intuition if their child is struggling are not necessarily rich or poor. Though most in the UK are not rich.
https://thereisnoshouldbe.com/intuition-for-bullied-children/
Conclusion
Most people who homeschool in the UK are not rich. They are people that recognise the individual needs of their children and respond in kind. Some are truly better off in school – homeschool is not the best option for everyone. And some parents notice that their children flourish and are nurtured out of mainstream child care/education. Parents who choose to homeschool are often those amongst others who value ideals such as good mental health, work life balance, good opportunities to explore and learn, and faith and family values. These are not people characterised by their riches or lack of – these are people that prioritise first their family lifestyle, and make their living decisions around that.
Hello.
Good cheer to all on this beautiful day!!!!!
Good luck 🙂
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